Note: Sunday NaBloPoMo entries are always going to be the hardest to get out, since I am devoting most of my weekend to my family.  I'll definitely get them out, but the content on Sundays may be a little lighter than what I'm hoping to provide during the rest of the week.

I get a lot of random spam, but Gmail does a great job of dumping it in the spam folder so I never have to see it.  Unless I want to, of course.  It's usually a waste of time to look in there, but every once in a while I'll peruse it and find a few gems that strike me as funny.

Here's the best of the subject lines that I pulled before emptying my spam folder today:

It is the best moment to forget about everything just open the door

Having just read the story of the 3 little pigs to my daughter, I can imagine this would be exactly what the Big Bad Wolf would write in an email to the pig who built his house out of bricks.

S0FT Cialls at $2.22 per dose

Soft and Cialls (sic) should probably not be mentioned in the same sentence, if you get my drift.

Top products of top brands.

Classic undersell here.  I don't think it works very well, in spam or in other advertising fields.  I mean, who's going to buy Bounty if it was just advertised as "A pretty absorbent paper towel"?

It has never been this easy to change your life as radically as now

This actually might be a great mantra for my new self-help book.  Coming soon to a bookstore near you!

Knock her up with SpermaMax!

…Sorry, I just can't stop laughing at the name "SpermaMax".  I'll get back to you with a witty comment about this one later.

Show your close ones you care, quit smoking today

Great advice, not so great as a spam message…

Bring back time when girls were yours.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the 13th amendment got rid of slavery almost 150 years ago?  There's no going back, bud.

Want to act like a tiger in bed?

Um, depends.  Is this going to involve…."yiffing"? *shudder*

Do you have the two off hours per day?

Yes, if I have to get up early for work, you can pretty much be assured I'm going to have at least two hours that day that I'm feeling off.

Precious kitty banged in dark room bread

Uh…I don't know and I don't want to know.  But the text in the email also had "Runcible cat with crimson whiskers", which is pretty much the coolest band name I've heard this year.  (May be shortened to just Runcible Cat when they make it big.)

IT'S EASY AS 1, 2, 3

"Alex, What is 'A, B, C'?"

Hello. ur new offshore harmacy is open.

Now I'm wondering what a Harmacy would look like.  Obviously this is a seasonal store, only open in the month(s) preceding Halloween.  I'm picturing medieval dungeon decorations, complete with an iron maiden (Excellent!) and shackles on the walls.

Time to be a MAN.

Right!  Man up!  With SpermaMax!

When to stop blogging

Is this a hint this post has gone on too long?

[NaBloPoMo 2008 – #2/30]

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