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This week is my first week back in the office after a lengthy period off for Achilles tendon surgery and recovery.  I'm still  wearing a walking boot, but ironically am not allowed to walk on my leg yet.  I'm still crutching around and fumbling along, but now I get to add some stretching exercises into the mix to try to stretch out my sewn-up tendon and get it back to snuff.

The office is the same as usual, and everyone's been very friendly and helpful while I'm getting back into the swing of things.  I have a desk full of papers to sort and either file or take action on.  I have an inbox full of emails to catch up on the same way.  I have a to-do list a mile long, but I'm feeling pretty good about the progress I'm making through all three, getting back on top of things and up to speed on the latest developments on my projects.

Stack O’ Business Cards

Yesterday, I decided to take a break after lunch and found some business card origami ideas.  You see, I've got a box full of old business cards from my old job, and being a hoarder of useless crap, I held on to them when I moved down to North Carolina a few years back.  Over the years they've sat in a desk drawer, gathering dust until yesterday, when I discovered all the fun things you can do with business cards you don't care about anymore!

First, I made a business card cube, just to try my hand at basic origami.  Then I followed it up with the business card box, and filled it with some business cards that I'm keeping by my phone to use as scratch-paper during phone calls.  It took a little bit of time, but I'd label it about a 1.5/5 on a difficulty scale.

Business Card Cube and Box

I might follow up with a couple other origami crafts today at lunch.  I especially like the idea of some of the 3D shapes (tetrahedrons, octahedrons, etc) even though they look to be a little bit above my skill level at the moment.  But I've got a lot of cards to go through and practice with to get them right!

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Friday Drabble

Fridays are the days I post one or two "drabble", the 100-word stories that test your ability to convey an entire story idea in an extremely brief format.  Feel free to join in and write your own 100 word stories on Fridays, and tag them with "friday drabble".  Link to them in the comments and/or on Twitter with the hashtag #fridaydrabble.

ALSO! Some of the drabble I am writing are part of the 100 Word Stories Podcast Weekly Challenge! Because of this, I will also post an audio recording of my reading of any challenge submissions.  Hope you enjoy!

Looking For Work

Looking for Work

“And why, Mr….”

“Loki”

“Yes, Mr. Loki. Why do you think you'd be suitable for the Demigod position?”

“Well, I have plenty of deity experience from my last place of employment.”

“Yes, about that – it says here in your letter of recommendation that you were… a bit of a troublemaker?”

“Well, I pulled a couple practical jokes, but I wouldn't call that making trouble…”

“Yes, I see. And do you have anything that would prevent you from starting as early as next week?”

“Only Ragnarok.”

“Okay, thank you very much for your time, Mr. Loki. We’ll be in touch.”

Like a Candle in the Wind

Like a Candle in the Wind

They called him the Human Torch. He was like something out of comic books. Flames crawled all over his flesh, and little yellow and red tongues licked at his hair, but never ignited so much as a single strand.

They remember how he had to sleep on a ceramic bed, and left charred footprints in his wake.

They remember how he kept the local nursing home residents alive when the Blizzard of 2042 knocked out power for three weeks.

But then the CIA discovered he was an arsonist, and guilty of murder. And quietly, surreptitiously, the Human Torch got snuffed.

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You may think your company name sounds cool, but a few words of advice:

The Legacy Way?

When comparing two different techniques, "The Old Way" and your method, AKA "The Legacy Way" sound suspiciously similar.  In fact, you may not know this, but the word "legacy" actually implies your method is old, and possibly obsolete.  It certainly does not give one the impression that you are the the innovative, cutting edge, and successful process that you are trying to promote.

It's probably too late to change your company name, but I'd look at hiring a different advertising firm in the future.  They seem to be a bit of a legacy themselves.

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In my family, I am notorious for choosing the worst movies for family movie nights.  It's almost a sure thing.  In fact, it happened so often over the years that I almost consider it my superpower to be able to choose to watch, out of all available selections, the worst movie possible.  Here are some of the "gems" I selected over the years:

• Super Mario Brothers
• Wagons East and Canadian Bacon
• Waterworld
• Drop Dead Fred
• Citizen Ruth (caveat – for my 12 year old brother)
  
• The Cable Guy
• Batman and Robin

Now granted, most of my worst choices were back in the days before internet rating systems and review sites were in place.  We'd usually wander around in a Blockbuster video store and pick movies that looked like they might appeal to the family.  I just know, if left to my own devices, I tend to choose films on the crappier side of the scale.

Given this knowledge, how can I best use my powers for the good of all mankind? By simultaneously warning and entertaining others of the perils of these crappy movies!  And what better way to do it than in the most succinct format known to humanity today – the 140 character tweet!

I'd like to introduce to you my alter-ego, TheCrapCritic, who can be found anywhere that bad movies and media exist.  Through this account, I'll distill the essence of a crappy film, book, commercial, television show, or other media down into a pithy, 1-tweet "review".  I can't promise a regular schedule because even I won't voluntarily subject myself to these crappy products – but you can bet with my unerring ability to choose the crap that I'll have plenty to post.  Here a couple of my more recent "reviews":

• SURROGATES: The actors portray surrogate robots. They do a great job – it's like a bad screenplay being read aloud by your computer. #crap
• DEATH RACE: Where Jason Statham wears a metal mask and drives a Mustang with guns attached. Viewers are advised to wear blindfolds. #crap
• If Jet Li spent as much time practicing his acting as he did his martial arts, Kiss of the Dragon might have been a better movie. #crap

If you're on Twitter, come follow TheCrapCritic for more along the same lines.  I'm just getting started over there so there's not much of a backlog, but the crap will out, so it's just a matter of time…

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