Author Archive

Monday Morning Haiku #25

My girls grow quickly.
With long office days, I’ve lost
more than just an hour.

Yes, I’m cursing Daylight Saving Time this morning just like thousands of others across the country, but as my haiku this week indicates, there’s another place where I’ve lost even more time than our government-mandated clock-changing activity can suck away from me.

The last couple of weeks (and the next couple) have been pretty crazy, work-wise. I’m working lots of extra overtime to get some things completed by deadline for my latest project, which has severely cut into the time I’ve been able to spend with my family. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it also gives you a big old case of the blues. I’m hoping things settle down soon and I’m able to get back to my normal schedule, so I can play with the girls in the evenings rather than get home just in time to help put them to bed.  (I’m sure my wife wishes I’d get home earlier, too, so she’s not having to carry the entire parenting load for 15+ hours a day by herself.)


The Friday Drabble #16: Do Not Disturb

Whoa! Breaking radio silence for a drabble! Celebrate the end of a hiatus by penning your own 100 word story!  Link to it in the comments and/or on Twitter with the hashtag #fridaydrabble. Happy Drabbling!


 

He scribbled into the volume on his lap, ignoring the cacophony of traffic rushing past his bench toward the freeway.

A shadow loomed over him momentarily.

“Whazzat? A story?” The bum, rancid and bloated inside layers of ratty clothing, settled beside him.

The man ignored his questioner, his hand a blur.

“Hey! What are you, deaf?” The bum poked the man, streaking graphite across the clean page.

The man raised his head. He regarded his tormentor and flipped through the book, located the desired spot, and gently erased a line of text.

The man, alone once more, resumed his chronicle.


Cookie Fortress of Solitude

It’s probably a good thing Superman built his Fortress of Solitude out of ice & crystal instead of Girl Scout cookies.  I think he would have received a sudden influx of new neighbors, Arctic wasteland or no Arctic wasteland.

Cookie Fortress

I still can't believe I lugged in 80+ boxes for my coworkers and forgot to order any for myself.

Oh yes, did I mention your Girl Scout cookies have arrived? $4 a box, please form an orderly queue, and line-jumpers will be shot on sight.


Monday Morning Haiku #24

Oceans of java
The caffeine courses through me
Yet still I crave sleep

Need More Coffee!!!!


Jar Jar – The Aftermath

Meesa gonna be missing from da wedding cake!

Yesterday I wrote about enlisting a coworker to play a prank on her Star Wars fan of a fiancé by suggesting they include Jar Jar Binks on their Star Wars themed wedding cake.

She couldn’t wait to carry out the plan, and, well, here’s the recap she emailed to me this morning:

So last night I had my BlackBerry out and I pretended I was looking something up on the internet, but really I was reading from the script you wrote.  His reactions were almost EXACTLY what you wrote.  It was hilarious.  I only made it to his reaction to the name Jar Jar Binks… I laughed too much to finish.

I let him read your email and he was impressed by your Star Wars knowledge.

So there you go – I’d say that went well! And hey, they’re still together, so I don’t have to feel guilty about unintentionally breaking up the happy couple!


Jar Jar Binks

Meesa most hated character in Star Wars!

Those three innocuous words fill any die-hard Star Wars fan with revulsion.

A coworker of mine is engaged to a die-hard fan.  She never watched any of the Star Wars movies until she met him.  He has only “allowed” her to watch Episodes IV, V, and VI (the older ones). [Don’t worry, it’s a healthy relationship – she has absolutely no desire to watch the new ones.]

As I said, he’s a die-hard fan.  They’ve talked about having Han and Leia cake toppers on their wedding cake (I’ll give you one guess whose idea that was.)

So I’m enlisting her in a prank.  I’ve explained who Jar Jar Binks is to her, and she’s going to bring it up to him in a little scene that should go something like this:

Her: Oh honey, I saw the coolest thing today.

Him: Yeah, what was it?

Her: It’s something from Star Wars.  And I want to include it on our cake, ok?

Him: *eyes lighting up* Yes? What was it? A working replica of a light saber? A tie fighter? A foot-high model of the Death Star?

Her: No silly, none of those things.  No, I saw a clip on Youtube.  He’s the cutest character, and so silly.  Let’s see, his name was…Jar Jar Binks, I think?

Him: *aghast* No. No no no no no nononono.  For all that is holy, no. Anything but that.

Her: Oh, why not sweetie?  He’s so cute, with that long tongue, and big floppy ears.  And that cute accent? “Meesa hungry!”  I love that!

Him: …

Her: Oh come on baby, pleeeeease?

Him: No. Anything but that.

Her: Oh, ok, fine.  How about an Ewok then? Or one of those “pod racers” that Jar Jar Binks was fixing? OOH! How about an Ewok riding IN a pod racer? Wouldn’t that be adorable?

Him: …

Him: I’d like the engagement ring back, please.

.

Come to think of it, maybe this isn’t such a good idea for a prank, after all.


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