Rossotron.com

Hello, Would You Like to Buy an Encyclopedia?

Ross — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 14:22:43 +0000

Over the past 4 days, I’ve spent about 12 hours (total) walking door-to-door in my neighborhood, trying to collect signatures on a petition to get a parcel of land adjacent to the neighborhood (recently annexed by the city) zoned under a low-density classification to curb development and ensure our neighborhood doesn’t receive an influx of new traffic/noise/lower-quality housing that could adversely affect everyone in the neighborhood. I’ve got another resident who’s helping me with their end of the neighborhood, so I only had to hit about 80 or so houses, rather than the 160 I’d have to hit on my own. I’ve got a vested interest in this issue, since my house backs up on the land in question, but I’m also on the Homeowners Association (HOA) Board, so I felt it was my duty to participate in this activity regardless of whether it was my land or someone else’s land in the neighborhood impacted by this zoning issue.

I’m not a shy individual by any means, but the idea of cold-calling people or making door-to-door “sales” pitches is NOT my idea of a good time. Nevertheless, I decided to suck it up and make an effort. My biggest concern (and proven rightly so) was that people would think I was selling something and just wouldn’t come to the door, even if they were home. I can’t very well yell through the door, “No really! It’s OK! I’m not selling anything and I’m not a crazy axe murderer who will abduct you if you open your door in the middle of the day! I’m out here for your own good, trust me!” (Well, I could yell all that, but I doubt it would be very effective, even if the people inside DID hear me.)

So what did I find out from all my efforts?

It is insanely hot outside right now. And muggy. Within seconds of stepping outside and into the sunlight, my forehead was pricked with sweat, and it only got worse from there. I carried as much water as I could and stayed in the shade where possible, but it was just TOO DAMN HOT out there.
I met a number of kind, friendly, open-minded individuals who welcomed me inside their homes to discuss the issue. These are folks I may have met in passing in the neighborhood but in most cases, they didn’t know me from Adam. Yet they were kind enough to notice my plight and offer me a cool drink or at least a few minutes of A/C while I discussed the zoning issue with them. These are the people that make my neighborhood such a nice place to live.
I met a number of people who came to door full of suspicion, all prepared to chase me off with a curt word if I DID turn out to be selling something. Most of these individuals warmed up a moderate amount once I explained who I was and why I was there. A few still seemed to think I was selling something, even after I explained IN DETAIL that I was just collecting signatures from residents to petition for the Rural zoning classification.
It’s a lot easier to get people to sign a petition if they see an almost-filled form, rather than a blank sheet or a page with 1-2 signatures on it. Herd mentality, I think.
It was TOO DAMN HOT to be walking around. I should have applied some sunscreen, too.
I met a couple of people who were so anti-Homeowners Association & HOA Board that they almost didn’t want to listen to me after I introduced myself as a member of that elected group. Even though I was walking the neighborhood, in the heat, for their benefit (as well as my own, of course). These people couldn’t say enough negative things about the Board, and seemed to think that they could say anything they wanted to me, including lying/embellishing about any “wrongs” done to them by “The Board”. I kept what I hope was an apologetic face on, acted contrite if the situation warranted it, and actually got some good discourse going with a few of them after they ran out of steam on their initial gripe list. End result? Signatures on the petition, a bit of venting, and maybe some not-quite-so-cranky residents.
Did I mention it was hot out there? Wait, no, it wasn’t hot. It was TOO DAMN HOT.
The people in the neighborhood that were renting their houses were happy to be included in the petition effort, and were some of the nicest people I met overall. Just because you don’t own a house doesn’t mean you’re a second-class citizen in a neighborhood primarily composed of people that do own their houses. (And it definitely doesn’t mean you should be treated like one!)
People who are home and don’t answer their doors when you ring their doorbell suck.
People who aren’t home and leave their televisions on to pretend they’re home suck.
People who have a sticker on their door asking firefighters to save their pets really should fill out the information indicating how many and of what type of pet they have, rather than leaving it blank and assuming the rescue workers will be able to magically find all the animals in the event of an emergency.
Most of the people who invited me in have immaculate houses. I’d never invite someone in just because I’d be ashamed for them to see the inside of my house under normal conditions.
It was TOO DAMN HOT. I’m not walking down the neighborhood for another petition until at least November. Or maybe January. Whew!

Total Houses Hit: Approximately 80

Total Houses Where Someone Answered Their Door: 45

Total Signatures Acquired: 44

Beware of the Axe Handle – My Thoughts on Amendment 1

Ross — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:37:14 +0000

Last evening, my wife and I sat in front of the television, watching the tallies roll in for North Carolina’s Primary. We grew more despondent as it became clear that Amendment 1, a measure banning same-sex marriage and civil unions in the state of North Carolina, was going to pass and be incorporated into the North Carolina Constitution. My wife was nearly physically sick at the thought of the level of bigotry and ignorance present in the Fundamentalist majority who voted to try to restrict the lives and relationships of those around them into the narrow definitions of their religious beliefs, while I started worrying about the financial and social impacts such a vote will have on the state of North Carolina in the upcoming years.

Before I went to sleep, I was flipping through a copy of Aesop’s Fables and I came across one that hit a little too close to home after the horrible results of the vote on Amendment 1:

One day, a Man went into a Forest and asked the Trees if they would be so good as to give him a handle for his axe. The trees readily granted his request and gave him a piece of tough Ash. But no sooner had the man fitted it into his axehead, than he quickly began to use it, and laid about him so vigorously that the giants of the forest fell under his strokes.

“Alas!” said a doomed Oak to a Cedar, “the first step lost us all. If we had not given up our rights to the Ash, we might have stood for ages.”

North Carolina (along with most of the rest of the South) is well known for its religiously conservative views, so it wasn’t a surprise to most that Amendment 1 passed. It appears North Carolina hasn’t changed much from the state that, in 1875, passed an Amendment to the former NC Constitution banning interracial marriage “forever”:

Well, forever, or until the U.S. Supreme Court invalidated anti-miscegenation laws in 1967...

As Gene Nichol, Law professor at UNC’s Law School puts it:

[Amendment 1] secures no liberties, alters no decision-making structures, opens no doors to a broader swath of the citizenry. Instead, through its phrases, a powerful majority enshrines its supremacy over a small and disfavored minority. It expresses hostility in the most distinctive way available. It carves it into our constitution. It declares, in effect, that “in this foundational matter, thou shalt never be equal.”

In my opinion, issues of Human Rights should never be decided by a majority vote. I’m not saying that the incorporation of this Amendment into the NC Constitution is necessarily going to open to the door to additional laws oppressing the gay population of the state, but it certainly is a huge step in the wrong direction.

I’m not exactly sure we go from here. Are we going to have to wait for a Supreme Court ruling on the issue, like Loving v. Virginia in 1967 that finally invalidated the anti-miscengenation laws after nearly 100 years in the NC Constitution? I certainly hope not. I hope the population of North Carolina sees this as a shot across the bow to the liberties and rights of more than just a minority of individuals in the state. I hope people open their eyes and dispel their ignorance of what impact this Amendment could (and probably will) have on ALL unmarried couples, and change their minds. I hope the unregistered and apathetic voters sit up and take notice, and make it out to the polls when a proposition is raised to repeal this Amendment. I’ll be there doing my part, and I hope you will, too.

New Music Find: Rollin’ Metal

Ross — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 14:24:00 +0000

Here’s the newest Metal band on the scene. They may not play any actual instruments and their lyrics still need some work, but they’ve got an energy you just can’t deny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr_CwPeVlpg

Oh wait, they DO play instruments. Here’s a clip from an alternate, more intimate venue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkfNF0BFse8

Monday Morning Haiku #25

Ross — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 14:43:06 +0000

My girls grow quickly.
With long office days, I’ve lost
more than just an hour.

Yes, I’m cursing Daylight Saving Time this morning just like thousands of others across the country, but as my haiku this week indicates, there’s another place where I’ve lost even more time than our government-mandated clock-changing activity can suck away from me.

The last couple of weeks (and the next couple) have been pretty crazy, work-wise. I’m working lots of extra overtime to get some things completed by deadline for my latest project, which has severely cut into the time I’ve been able to spend with my family. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it also gives you a big old case of the blues. I’m hoping things settle down soon and I’m able to get back to my normal schedule, so I can play with the girls in the evenings rather than get home just in time to help put them to bed. (I’m sure my wife wishes I’d get home earlier, too, so she’s not having to carry the entire parenting load for 15+ hours a day by herself.)

The Friday Drabble #16: Do Not Disturb

Ross — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:00:49 +0000

Whoa! Breaking radio silence for a drabble! Celebrate the end of a hiatus by penning your own 100 word story! Link to it in the comments and/or on Twitter with the hashtag #fridaydrabble. Happy Drabbling!

He scribbled into the volume on his lap, ignoring the cacophony of traffic rushing past his bench toward the freeway.

A shadow loomed over him momentarily.

“Whazzat? A story?” The bum, rancid and bloated inside layers of ratty clothing, settled beside him.

The man ignored his questioner, his hand a blur.

“Hey! What are you, deaf?” The bum poked the man, streaking graphite across the clean page.

The man raised his head. He regarded his tormentor and flipped through the book, located the desired spot, and gently erased a line of text.

The man, alone once more, resumed his chronicle.

Cookie Fortress of Solitude

Ross — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:34:55 +0000

It’s probably a good thing Superman built his Fortress of Solitude out of ice & crystal instead of Girl Scout cookies. I think he would have received a sudden influx of new neighbors, Arctic wasteland or no Arctic wasteland.

I still can't believe I lugged in 80+ boxes for my coworkers and forgot to order any for myself.

Oh yes, did I mention your Girl Scout cookies have arrived? $4 a box, please form an orderly queue, and line-jumpers will be shot on sight.

Monday Morning Haiku #24

Ross — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 14:18:32 +0000

Oceans of java
The caffeine courses through me
Yet still I crave sleep

Jar Jar – The Aftermath

Ross — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:09:05 +0000

Meesa gonna be missing from da wedding cake!

Yesterday I wrote about enlisting a coworker to play a prank on her Star Wars fan of a fiancé by suggesting they include Jar Jar Binks on their Star Wars themed wedding cake.

She couldn’t wait to carry out the plan, and, well, here’s the recap she emailed to me this morning:

So last night I had my BlackBerry out and I pretended I was looking something up on the internet, but really I was reading from the script you wrote. His reactions were almost EXACTLY what you wrote. It was hilarious. I only made it to his reaction to the name Jar Jar Binks… I laughed too much to finish.

I let him read your email and he was impressed by your Star Wars knowledge.

So there you go – I’d say that went well! And hey, they’re still together, so I don’t have to feel guilty about unintentionally breaking up the happy couple!

Jar Jar Binks

Ross — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:42:33 +0000

Meesa most hated character in Star Wars!

Those three innocuous words fill any die-hard Star Wars fan with revulsion.

A coworker of mine is engaged to a die-hard fan. She never watched any of the Star Wars movies until she met him. He has only “allowed” her to watch Episodes IV, V, and VI (the older ones). [Don't worry, it's a healthy relationship - she has absolutely no desire to watch the new ones.]

As I said, he’s a die-hard fan. They’ve talked about having Han and Leia cake toppers on their wedding cake (I’ll give you one guess whose idea that was.)

So I’m enlisting her in a prank. I’ve explained who Jar Jar Binks is to her, and she’s going to bring it up to him in a little scene that should go something like this:

Her: Oh honey, I saw the coolest thing today.

Him: Yeah, what was it?

Her: It’s something from Star Wars. And I want to include it on our cake, ok?

Him: *eyes lighting up* Yes? What was it? A working replica of a light saber? A tie fighter? A foot-high model of the Death Star?

Her: No silly, none of those things. No, I saw a clip on Youtube. He’s the cutest character, and so silly. Let’s see, his name was…Jar Jar Binks, I think?

Him: *aghast* No. No no no no no nononono. For all that is holy, no. Anything but that.

Her: Oh, why not sweetie? He’s so cute, with that long tongue, and big floppy ears. And that cute accent? “Meesa hungry!” I love that!

Him: …

Her: Oh come on baby, pleeeeease?

Him: No. Anything but that.

Her: Oh, ok, fine. How about an Ewok then? Or one of those “pod racers” that Jar Jar Binks was fixing? OOH! How about an Ewok riding IN a pod racer? Wouldn’t that be adorable?

Him: …

Him: I’d like the engagement ring back, please.

Come to think of it, maybe this isn’t such a good idea for a prank, after all.

Before 7 AM…

Ross — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:12:50 +0000

NOT the Bean's new doorknob.

Early this morning (i.e. before 7AM), I replaced the Bean’s doorknob with the one from my closet door. The new one? It does not lock.

4 year olds do not need a door that locks. ESPECIALLY when they use it to act out in anger.

On a related note, my wife will now be able to lock herself in the master bedroom closet when she can’t take the kids anymore.

What did you do before 7 AM? What do you WISH you had done before 7 AM?