Hello, do you like my hat? No, I do not. Good-bye! Good-bye!

Years ago, I stole borrowed my father’s Filson “Packer Hat” for a costume in high school.  I liked it so much, I decided that I’d get one for myself when I was older.

Years down the road, when my wife and I were finally dating, we were driving through Baltimore and I stopped at one of the more prominent sporting goods stores in the area and finally picked one up.  My wife, who I now know was humoring me, didn’t really say much about it, and I would wear it for ‘outdoor’ type activities (hiking, camping, fishing, sitting at the beach, etc).  It’s a great hat for all of that – waterproof, flexible but with a moldable brim, and it “gains character” with age/use.

(Me on the beach circa 2007, in The Hat)

.

So, a year or two ago, we were going on a trip somewhere, and I pulled out The Hat.  I mentioned how I thought I might have lost it somewhere, and my wife blurted out, “I wish you had.  God I hate that thing.”

Now, she had teased me about the hat in the past, but it seemed like good-natured ribbing, and not an indication of deeper feelings.  This time it hurt though, because I truly DID like The Hat, and here she was telling me that she hated it.  I wasn’t about to toss it in the Goodwill Box, but I did stop wearing it as much (around her).  After all, when I’m wearing it, she’s the one that has to look at it, right?

That said, I’ll still pull it out for trips, or when it’s raining, or when I’m going to be going for a hike somewhere.  I like The Hat and although my wife may hate it, she loves ME enough to put up with it if I’m not going to be too blatantly ostentatious about wearing it in front of her.  It’s a good thing, too, because unless I “lose” it, this thing is probably going to last me another 20 years or so of use.

 

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RossRuns – or Does He?

14 years ago, I was a high school senior.  I was a straight-A student, a vocal-jazz singer, a bit of a nerd, but also a clearly defined runner.  Hell, my AOL account username was “RossRuns” (an affectation I have kept up through the years for nearly all of my new user accounts on various web services).  I had placed 8th in the Washington state Cross Country championship meet with my 15:24 5K time, and was seeded #1 going into the state track meet the following spring regional finish of 4:20 for the 1600m.  There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that running was an integral part of my life.

13 years ago, I was a walk-on to the UVA Cross Country team, qualifying with a 5 mile time of 25:25.  I had taken my running to the next level, racking up between 60-80 miles a week with the rest of the squad. I competed in a couple of invitationals but was sidelined with an injury during the winter and part of the spring – long enough to red-shirt my freshman year and leave me considering whether I wanted to continue with such a grueling training schedule in light of all the other college activities I was participating in.

10 years ago, after graduating college and beginning work in New York state, I occasionally ran on evenings/weekends, but I don’t recall it being according to any regular schedule or set training plan. I explained the “RossRuns” username to people as “Well, it’s a whole lot easier to remember than RossUsedToRun.”

8 years ago, I joined many of my coworkers in the “Corporate Challenge”, a 3.5 mile road race in NY.  I collapsed somewhere near/on/past the finish line (I don’t remember the finish to this race to this day).  Any notions of getting back into shape through regular running left me for a good while, after that.

3 years ago, while in India, I ran on the treadmill in the gym every morning before going to the factory, for 5 weeks straight.  I returned home and promptly failed to follow up with any running, whatsoever.

2 years ago, after “training” for a few months, I joined my wife in the Harrisburg NC YMCA 5K and finished 28th overall and 1st in my age group, with a 23:28 finish. My commitment to keep running ended just about the time it started to be 90 degrees and 90% humidity outdoors the following month.

Last year (Feb 2010), I ruptured my Achilles tendon and after surgery to stitch it back together, was banned from running until November 2010.  This restriction finally gave me the kick in the pants I needed to realize how much I was taking my own fitness and health for granted. I tentatively got back into training (as much as my poor leg would allow me) and started building up my endurance and strength again.

This past Saturday, I ran 5 miles (continuous) for probably the first time since my undergrad days 13 years ago.  Not only that, I ran it as part of a regular training schedule, on (or ahead of) pace and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.

Looking back on my running history above, it shocks me to see that the time I took off from running was over twice as long as the period where I had seriously considered myself a runner, prior to that (since Cross Country and Track in 8th grade).  I never realized the excuses and the inconsistency in my running history until I seriously sat down and charted my on-again, off-again habits.

I want to turn that statistic around, and proudly use the ID “RossRuns” because it is an indication that I’ve been running longer than I haven’t.  Sure, I’ll have little hurdles to overcome along the way, but I feel like I’ve revitalized my running spirit and my drive to stick with it. Only time will tell, of course, but already I’ve seen incredible benefits in my own life – everything from significantly reduced cholesterol levels to mental balance and acuity to increased energy and happiness – that make it well worth my while to try to maintain this lifestyle even if I’m feeling the running shtick on a particular afternoon.

I’m a Runner. I prove it by running. That’s all there is to it, and all I need to keep in mind.  And in 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, and further into the future, I hope I can look back and do another of these posts, and be inordinately proud of what I’ve achieved and what I’ve done in my running life.

“If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.”
-John Bingham

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Puss in Boots

If it’s been a while since you read the fairy tale, let me quickly recap:

  • Youngest son’s inheritance is a cat.
  • Puss demands and receives a pair of boots.
  • Puss proceeds to hunt and catch animals in the forest and present them to the King as gifts from the fictional Marquis de Carabas.
  • Puss tells his master to strip naked and hide in the river while he cons the King and his daughter into thinking the young man is the Marquis de Carabas and has been robbed.
  • Puss runs ahead and coerces the peasants along the road into telling the King that the fields, farms, and game preserves he passes all belong to the Marquis de Carabas.  Puss threatens to cut them up into mincemeat if they don’t comply.
  • Puss enters a castle where an ogre lives, tricks the ogre into turning into a mouse, kills and eats him, and claims ownership of the castle for his master.
  • The King, impressed by the wealth of the “Marquis”, gives the impostor his princess’ hand in marriage and makes him heir to the throne.
  • Puss lives high on the hog and only chases mice when he feels like it, thereafter.

My thoughts:

  1. Puss is kind of a dick.
  2. This sounds oddly like the set of actions that created the last big Real Estate Bubble.
  3. This is the best example I can find in literature where lying is rewarded, where an apparently completely undeserving individual (the third son) ends up on top of it all through trickery and deception, and appearance and wealth are stressed above all other things as the driving forces for marriage.
  4. I’m pretty sure I’m going to avoid reading this story to my kids until they’re old enough to understand how truly twisted it is.
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The Monday Morning Haiku #14

Don your vorpal blade -
Monday is the Jabberwock.
Can you slay it? Please?


How in the blazes is it Monday already?  Did I step into a time warp?  Did I spend the entire weekend talking to The Silence? Or did I “fritter” away the time with my family, IKEA, yardwork, Netflix, beer, and books? (Yes, the last seems most likely.)

Oh well, whatever the circumstances, I’m back here at work again, the kids are back in school, and everything’s pretty much normal again.  Hooray for the weekends – may I have a second helping please?

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The Monday Morning Haiku #13

Too much work to do:
Good for job security -
Bad for sanity!

Between having Friday off last week and the seminar I’m attending tomorrow, I’m trying to shoehorn two weeks worth of work into less than two weeks worth of time. Just the thought of trying to getting all of this done is stressing me out.  Therefore I’m taking a few minutes out of my busy day to write this post, and I’ll take half-hour at lunch to get in a run.

Of course, Dee’s in the same boat this week, as it’s Spring Break and both of the little ones are home all week, so she’s trying to work out how to take care of teaching her classes, prevent the kids from spending their entire week with eyeballs glued to the television, and still retain her sanity.  If we can both manage to finish out the week without becoming twitching, gibbering apes that need a pair of comfy straitjackets and padded cells, it’ll be a miracle.

Anyone else got too much on your plate right now?  How are you dealing with it all? (Response in the form of a haiku is optional here!)

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What’s in a name?

michelle-said posted a hilariously tragic story about how she got her laptop, Chardonnay Lionheart, addicted to cheap eBay power cords.  Yes, Michelle is an enabler.  But enough about her; the most important part of her story is not the sad spiral of decay that her poor Macbook Pro has fallen into, but rather its name.

Chardonnay Lionheart.

That is one truly awesome name for a laptop.

And you know what?

My poor laptop has been struggling along under the weight of my numerous endeavors for YEARS now with the same lack of respect I bestow on my garbage can.

My car has a name (Abe, aka The Silver Sparrow).

My children have many names (not all of them fit for company).

Hell, even my house has a name (Casa de Bedlam).

But my poor computer? It is as anonymous as, well, Anonymous.

So now, I am engaging in a quest.  A quest for the perfect name.

I expect it will end one evening with the storm looming outside and the windows blowing open, and I will shout my laptop’s given name into the raging tempest and save Fantasia from The Nothing.

Oh wait, sorry, that’s already been done.  Scrap that last paragraph.

Ok, I actually expect it will end one evening with me cleaning the fingerprint-smudged screen and, after closing the laptop’s cover and giving it a single pat on its hard casing, speaking aloud the words, “That’ll do, __________.  Good night.”

So here’s to finding the perfect name.  My laptop has faithfully stood by me for years of unquestioning service – it’s about time I show it how much I care for it in return.

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