I'm not one to make an effort to view/listen to advertising in any format. In fact, I try to avoid advertising when possible. I Tivo most of my television shows and fast forward through commercials. I change stations or tune out advertisements on the radio. My brain has turned print ads in the paper or online into blind spots that I can't even see. But despite my efforts to avoid ads, I've become aware of a trend in advertising that not only disgusts me, but actually scares me a little bit: made-up words.
Advertisers are always looking for that magical turn of phrase that will not only entice the ad's intended target, but will stick in their heads and eventually become synonymous with the product being advertised. Some of the greatest creative minds in our society spend all day, every day, bending their brains to this purpose. But with the glut of advertising and slogans out there, it must be becoming increasingly difficult to come up with a stand-out slogan or phrase that hasn't already been used AND creates the mental-picture the advertiser is looking for. What's a poor ad developer to do? Well, why not make up some new words that serve the purpose instead?
One of the earliest instances I can remember of this type of behavior was the Butterfinger commercials from the '90s:
"Crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery, Butterfinger"
Though many of their commercials featured my at-that-time cartoon-hero Bart Simpson, even then I couldn't get past the fact that the Butterfinger ads seemed to be making up new words to sell their product. Sure, "crispety, crunchety" adds alliteration and a certain texture to the product, but does that give Nestle the right to try to pass them off as a real words?
Others from that era, such as "L'Eggo my Eggo"*, may have rolled off the tongue just as easily, but did nothing to endear their products (or ads) to the authors of dictionaries.
*OK, Eggo's actually had this slogan since the 60's, but what's a few decades between friends?
Since then, I've seen many different advertisers follow suit:
Taco Bell, one of the worst offenders, has adopted "melty" into the company dictionary, tacking it onto the "Beefy, cheesy, crunchy, and spicy" adjectives they bandy about to describe their food products. Then they topped it by introducing "Fourthmeal". Talk about the literary equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard!
A few years back, Hyundai came up with "Powercision" , but luckily it didn't stick for any real length of time.
Snickers came out with a monster campaign, trying to Dr. Frankenstein to life "Substantialiscious", "Peanutopolis", "Nougatocity", "Satisfectellent", and "Hungerectomy", most of which sound more to me like you're going to get some kind of disease from eating their candy bar.
Recently, Budweiser has been advertising that their Bud Light product has "Drinkability", something not found in their competitors' light beers. To which I respond – OF COURSE THEY DON'T HAVE IT. Drinkability is a made up word! They don't have crispaliciousness or tinglelicity in their beers either! What do you say to that, Mr. Commisioner of the More Taste League???
I understand that advertising is a tried-and-true profit maker for product manufacturers and media alike, and that this concept of making up words to market products is neither new nor likely to stop with the offenders I've listed above. Some may even say that what I'm complaining about is just the evolution of the English language in action, and that I shouldn't complain about the made-up words any more than I would complain about the derivation of "God Be With Ye" into "goodbye".
But this misuse of the English language to create abominations like "drinkability" and "hungerectomy" just doesn't sit well with me, and probably never will. Even if those advertisers get book-smart and adopt such classic made-up words as "brillig", "slithy", and "mimsy" into their lists.
Bonus points to those who know either where the title for this post came from, or where the other made-up words I didn't define came from.
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