Tag: ross

VHVox Presents: Behind the Blog – A Photo Essay of Ross’ Youth

So you think you had a rough childhood?  Check out these pics and THEN tell me you had a rough childhood!

Of course, first, I had professional photographers constantly documenting my "chubby baby syndrome".


And then, pretty much as soon as I could stand, my parents put me to work.  Don't be fooled by my cheery expression.  I was told that I would not get my daily ration of Spaghetti-O's if I did not smile for the camera.


My parents were always dressing me up in silly costumes to entertain the throngs of the people at the local parks.  After I'd put on a performance, I'd wander through the crowd, passing a hat for spare change.


When I became too old to be cute during these performances, I was conscripted in a theme-based child-labor factory manufacturing cheap Native American knockoff goods.  We had to dress in costumes for the tour groups that came by every half hour.  Sometimes I would smuggle out a single feather or bead, and slowly built my own set of bongo drums that I then sold on the black market to pay for my raging Pixy Stix habit.


I had to take all my baths in the kitchen sink.  I didn't even get the whole sink to myself; I had to share it with one of my two brothers.


And finally, when my youngest brother was old enough to handle the guitarrón (acoustic bass), we three brothers were forced to start our very own mariachi band to entertain at the neighborhood synagogue.  Unfortunately, we could not afford the traditional charro outfits, and instead had to adorn ourselves in the cast-offs of the local children.  Our band's name, of course, was Vlad and the Transformer Tigers.  Unfortunately, the infighting began during post-production of our first record album, and it never saw the light of day.


So now you've seen the sordid truth of my youth.  I'm actually not out to find out who had the worst childhood, but I am curious – what was YOUR childhood like?  Bonus points if you post pictures of your own, or link to ones you've already posted in the past…

[NaBloPoMo 2008 – #17 / 30]

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On to the Next 5 Word Challenge

Well, it's been a week already, and that means I've got to pass on the hosting duties of the 5 word challenge to the next sucker host.  Ancora impara has graciously accepted hosting duties, and I am sure is working feverishly to come up with a good set of 5 words for the next challenge.

We didn't have a lot of entries in this past week, but I really liked the ones that got posted.  Ancora impara's take on a game of marbles was a nice counterpoint to my own piece on the same subject.  Baylorgirl made me hungry for some ice cream, while Amanda managed to use all 5 words in a single sentenceMiamiShyner's entry may be too explicit for some folks, but it definitely turned up the heat!  And last but not least, formance came through with a dream piece chock full of imagery and humor.

I'm looking forward to the next challenge, and I hope everyone keeps up the great efforts!

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Meme: Ross …needs, is, likes, wants, etc

It looks like today is my day for posting memes and quizzes…probably because my brain is fried.  At least I'll avoid the inane qotd and vox hunt today!

Borrowed from Ms. Genevieve – I took the first 3 unique hits from each search, although at times I used the headline over the google text as it made more sense…also at times I snipped preceding text to make it more appropriate.

1. Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:

– Ross needs more time to rectify sins of the past staff. (Yes, repent, the end is near!)
– Ross needs a haircut. (Actually, I do.  Anyone know a decent barber?)
– Mr. Ross needs some educating at least about decency, and perhaps about copyright law. (Now wait just a second here…I'm one of the most decent people I know.  I'll give you the copyright law one, though…)

2. Type in "[your name] is" in the Google search:

– Ross is late entry in racetrack sweeps.  (And I'm going to smoke all of ya!)
– Ross is sidelined by broken hand (There goes my race prospects.  Who knew an eggbeater could DO that?)
– Ross is finally getting a taste of his own medicine! (I apologize for making fun of all those people with broken hands throughout the years *sob*)

3. Type in "[your name] likes" in the Google search:

– Ross likes computers (A truer statement was never uttered.)
– Ross likes what he saw in Lincoln (What happens in Lincoln stays in Lincoln.  Go there yourself if you want to know.)
– Ross likes to get married. Ross has been married three times. Obviously, Ross likes to get married. (Interestingly enough, this is from the text of a powerpoint presentation using the cast of the TV show Friends to illustrate how to create good transitions in your writing.  I grew up with Friends and always had people bringing it up because of my name.  Never heard of anyone using the cast to teach English, though.) 

4. Type in "[your name] wants" in the Google search:

– Ross wants yet another chance to repeat dead-end policies.  (I just can't help but bang my head against the wall.  Won't you help me please?)
– Ross Wants to Know: Are You One of Us?  (If not, you will be assimilated.)
– Ross wants Young, Good looking and Strange Drummer (Purely platonically though.  I *am* married, all you young, good looking and strange drumming applicants!)

5. Type in "[your name] gets" in the Google search:

– Ross gets festival fever (Doesn't everyone?)
– Ross Gets Cross With ITV-F1 (If I knew what ITV-F1 was, I wouldn't be quite so cross with it/them.)
– Ross Gets 'Idolized!' (Yeah baby!  Fear my William Hung impression!)

6. Type in "[your name] says" in the Google search:

– Ross Says: December 26th, 2005 at 12:55 pm Thanks–fixed. (You're welcome, and thanks for fixing it so quickly.)
– Ross says, "I take thee, Rachel" instead of "I take thee, Emily".  (OK, ENOUGH WITH THE FRIENDS REFERENCES ALREADY!)
– Ross says. "Over time, small annual differences can accumulate into big numbers." (If you'd like to know more about my retirement fund, please send a $50 money order to Mad Money with Ross, P.O. Box 24601, Chesterfield MO, 90210)

7. Type in "[your name] does" in the Google search:

– Ross Does Power Girl (Is this some kind of "slang" I am not familiar with?)
– Ross does not trust Microsoft. (Well, they've gotten better….but release the source code already!)
– Ross Does Right (I'm known in some circles as Mr. Right.  When I'm not known as Mr. Wrong)

8. Type in "[your name] eats" in the Google search:

– Ross eats a beating heart (um…okay?)
– Ross eats a rib (ok…maybe I'm some kind of cannibal?)
– Ross eats babies. (That's it.  I've had it.  Meme is over.)

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