Tag: spam

Innovative Approach to Spam?

Not only are the spammers coming after you in blog comments as well as through your email, but now they're telling jokes!

I was cleaning out the spam comments on my blog when I came across one that I actually enjoyed – unlike the linkfarm/gobbledygook/viagra ads of most blog comment spam, this one contained a joke that was not half bad:

Moishe had been single for a long time. One day, he excitedly tells his mother that he’s fallen in love at last and he is going to get married. She is obviously overjoyed.

Moishe then tells his mother, “Just for fun, Mum, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”

His mother agrees.

The next day, Moishe brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they all chat for a while. Then Moishe turns to his mother and says, “Okay, Mum. Guess which one I’m going to marry?”

She immediately replies, “The redhead in the middle.”

“That’s amazing, Mum. You’re right. How did you know?”

“I don’t like her.”

Obviously these kind of comments still aren't going to make it onto my blog, but if the spammers can keep me laughing while I delete their comments, so much the better!

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Spam Can Be Entertaining… To an Extent

Note: Sunday NaBloPoMo entries are always going to be the hardest to get out, since I am devoting most of my weekend to my family.  I'll definitely get them out, but the content on Sundays may be a little lighter than what I'm hoping to provide during the rest of the week.

I get a lot of random spam, but Gmail does a great job of dumping it in the spam folder so I never have to see it.  Unless I want to, of course.  It's usually a waste of time to look in there, but every once in a while I'll peruse it and find a few gems that strike me as funny.

Here's the best of the subject lines that I pulled before emptying my spam folder today:

It is the best moment to forget about everything just open the door

Having just read the story of the 3 little pigs to my daughter, I can imagine this would be exactly what the Big Bad Wolf would write in an email to the pig who built his house out of bricks.

S0FT Cialls at $2.22 per dose

Soft and Cialls (sic) should probably not be mentioned in the same sentence, if you get my drift.

Top products of top brands.

Classic undersell here.  I don't think it works very well, in spam or in other advertising fields.  I mean, who's going to buy Bounty if it was just advertised as "A pretty absorbent paper towel"?

It has never been this easy to change your life as radically as now

This actually might be a great mantra for my new self-help book.  Coming soon to a bookstore near you!

Knock her up with SpermaMax!

…Sorry, I just can't stop laughing at the name "SpermaMax".  I'll get back to you with a witty comment about this one later.

Show your close ones you care, quit smoking today

Great advice, not so great as a spam message…

Bring back time when girls were yours.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the 13th amendment got rid of slavery almost 150 years ago?  There's no going back, bud.

Want to act like a tiger in bed?

Um, depends.  Is this going to involve…."yiffing"? *shudder*

Do you have the two off hours per day?

Yes, if I have to get up early for work, you can pretty much be assured I'm going to have at least two hours that day that I'm feeling off.

Precious kitty banged in dark room bread

Uh…I don't know and I don't want to know.  But the text in the email also had "Runcible cat with crimson whiskers", which is pretty much the coolest band name I've heard this year.  (May be shortened to just Runcible Cat when they make it big.)

IT'S EASY AS 1, 2, 3

"Alex, What is 'A, B, C'?"

Hello. ur new offshore harmacy is open.

Now I'm wondering what a Harmacy would look like.  Obviously this is a seasonal store, only open in the month(s) preceding Halloween.  I'm picturing medieval dungeon decorations, complete with an iron maiden (Excellent!) and shackles on the walls.

Time to be a MAN.

Right!  Man up!  With SpermaMax!

When to stop blogging

Is this a hint this post has gone on too long?

[NaBloPoMo 2008 – #2/30]

Save Ferris

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5 Word Challenge: Spam Message

I noticed this morning that this week's 5 word challenge required the use of the words coax, abnegate, strawberry, euphony, and feral.  Normally I'd look at a challenge like this and put it off until later, letting the thoughts percolate in my head until I either came up with something good or took a pass on the challenge.  HOWEVER, as I was checking over my spam folder this morning to make sure no emails were erroneously routed there by Google's magic spam-checker, something caught my eye.  Imagine my surprise when I found the following emailed to me last Thursday, on June 28th… Thank goodness for spam mail – another challenge completed!

Subject: jerome's feral strawberry
From: Vanessa Ravala <eugorlbjexv@jtmbi.com>
Reply-To: Vanessa Ravala <eugorlbjexv@jtmbi.com>

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I want to say adios

Marvin loves to build soapbox racers with twelve speeds.  It wasn't until three o'clock that I wanted to abnegate the decision.  The geese filled the pond until only a speck of the blue green water could be seen amidst the masses of angry white feathers.  You coax Michelle with your words to no avail.  Seven pails of sand will fill the pool without problems.  The mirror often shows the truth to the steady observer.  Dragons bite the euphony that taunts them.  The morning stars shine brightest on the desert flowers.

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